(Also my first, and possibly only, non-fiction book…)
So your estranged parent is dying and someone decided to tell you against your estranged parent’s wishes. Should you go visit, or not? Should you go to the funeral, or not? And what would you end up discovering about that parent you never knew, whose face you don’t even remember, whose life you have heard nothing about in recent years? What would you do and realise in the years after their eventual death? How would you grieve? Would you even grieve?
Those were the questions lesbian fiction author, Anna Ferrara had after getting a text message from a stranger on an otherwise regular weekday morning, informing her of the impending death of the mother who disappeared from her life when she was 5. What followed was a complicated 800+ days of discovering the secrets of a woman she knew nothing about, the uncovering of past hurts and buried emotions she didn’t even remember she had, which she documented in a series of journal entries that eventually provided the content for this book.
Written for adult children of absent, toxic or negligent parents and professionals seeking a real-world case study of the subject, this book is a real and honest record of the stages of grief, coping and self-discovery an adult child will go through when their estranged parent remains self-centred and unloving up till the very end.
Notes on Parental Estrangement
Coming to you on 6 April 2021.
Available for pre-order now.
Ms. Ferrara, at the risk of being simple or flippant, I do hope somewhere in your self-reflection is the understanding that your mother not being a part of your life is her loss, not yours. You didn’t miss out on her, she missed out on you, and whether she knows it or not, that was a mistake that diminished her entire life. All that love you had to give, and she never got any of it.
Thanks, Robert. You have no idea how incredibly reassuring that sounds. Thanks for that 🙂